I have previously mentioned the extent to which I have to fight for the smallest bit of desk real estate when I work from home, and how the rather barbaric Oliver has a proclivity for shredding only my most important documents, but now you get to see the precursor stages to his demented behavior. This is the calm before the storm, that singular moment when I must take action to remove important papers and to secure the laptop (against which his strategically placed feet rest). You will note the slightly perturbed expression coupled with his nearly fully dilated eyes-- that is all the warning I need that the savage is about to unleash his considerable wrath on
my desk, computer and materials his day-lounger because of
my transgressive act of using
his space to work. He is no dimwit, but instead a calculated loose cannon-- who with one second notice, and for no discernible reason to his unsuspecting victim, will engage in war games. Perhaps his favorite act of violence is the "two-arm take-down" (I am not trying to anthropomorphize this little dictator, but merely distinguish his front from back legs) whereby he will grab the leg of an unsuspecting passerby and hang on for dear life before attacking said leg (and
yes, he will hang on while one continues to walk against all better judgment). This rehearsal for war is then used, once honed, on his poor feline housemates-- particularly his rather defenseless pretty-boy brother Jasper the Pacifist. He is more than capable of inciting fever-pitch levels of feline anarchy and civil unrest, and does so with great frequency. This fearless general even leaves Delilah the Pit Bull hiding for cover because of the trail of destruction and unmitigated chaos that he leaves in his wake. To soothe his restless spirit, and to once again restore order, I need only to open a can of his favored food for wartime to give way to gluttony, and for peace to prevail in the Kingdom of Oliver the Great.
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This made me laugh!! I am too subject to the same form of dictatorship. :))
ReplyDeleteHi Addie! I'm so glad that this made you laugh! Ahh, then you too know what it is like to live subject to the whims of a crazy dictator! :D
DeleteOh only too well :) Does make our lives a lot funnier, though. Just found your blog and I'm really enjoying it. Keep up the good work! :)
DeleteThey definitely do offer lots of joy, and cheap entertainment, to our lives! Thank you for your kind words-- I am so glad that you found my blog and are enjoying it! I appreciate your encouragement! :)
DeleteAhahaha Oliver sounds pretty sassy! My cats take over my chair, but not really the desk ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Sunny! Sassy, indeed! Oh, they take over my chair too-- there is usually a cat between me and my backrest! The desk can be pretty problematic when I have lots of work to do, and lots of books, articles and papers. Oliver gets so bent out of shape when I try to reclaim parts of the desk, and can become pretty crazy trying to push my stuff off of the desk! LOL!
DeleteHehehe *raises hand* fellow downtrodden subject here. Only my barbaric little dictator is a girl, which I think might possibly be worse! :P
ReplyDeleteHi rachlovespenguins!
DeleteWe should start a Fellowship of the Downtrodden! Oh I know a thing about barbaric little dictator female cats! In fact, Lola (after whom I named this blog) is quite the little dictator herself. However, she is also pushed around by Oliver. There is a definite feline power struggle going on at my house!
Love this story - I LOL'ed. I have a cat that can get a little moody towards one of his housemates and I have found that a spray bottle with water keeps his acts of aggression under control. While it doesn't stop all his quarrelsome behavior it does end it quickly once started. Maybe the spray bottle can help Oliver learn to become a more benevolent ruler. :)
DeleteI'm so glad that you enjoyed it and got a good laugh! Ah yes, the water bottle method!! I have used one before, but haven't in a long time. That's a great idea-- it may not turn Oliver into a benevolent ruler, but it might make him think twice some of the time! Thank you for the suggestion!!!
DeleteThis guy is adorable and so so so handsome. What a beauty! The trick I used to use when my cat was alive was to put a box on the corner of my desk big and tall enough to contain tightly my beautiful girl there and it always worked. Poor Jasper the pacifist.
ReplyDeleteSend my hugs to all of them, please. You have such a lively happy family.
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He's also a bit of a nut-job, you! LOL!!!!!! Oh yes, my babies love big boxes. I actually put a huge ugly cat condo next to my desk (two actually side by side) in to give them somewhere to play and sleep so that I am not always overtaken by my nutty feline family members. Jasper does periodically assert himself, but generally he tries to keep away from the trouble when it starts to percolate! Your beautiful girl sounds like she was an angel! I will give them a big hug for you, and one from me to you! <3
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