Zeus and the Quivering Goats of Mount Olympus

Zeus is fearless, and hardly one who could be accused of having an addled mind. If Mensa had a forum for intellectually superior felines, finding and tracking Zeus might be their crowning achievement. His superior intelligence lends itself to calculated and premeditated acts, and obsessive fixations on things that are often better off left alone. He also has very specific and cultivated taste in all things, and has a preference for luxurious textures and courtly fineries. Zeus recently articulated his fetishistic desire to possess and covet all of my goat hair makeup brushes. I don't know why he finds Hakuhodo and Tom Ford brushes inherently more appealing than the others, but they are most assuredly the objects of his desire. What is curious is that he only has interest in the goat hair brushes. They have all been washed multiple times, and no longer possess that earthy goat scent-- perhaps it is because they are white-haired as is he.

Kept safe and sound, or so I thought, locked away in a medicine cabinet behind the closed door of the master bathroom, the opportunity to mount a military campaign to seize the quivering goats doesn't present itself too often. However, the honed mind of this obsessive genius is immediately alerted whenever someone opens the bathroom door, and trust me when I tell you that this magical sound will rouse him from even the deepest sleep rooms away. He moves like a ninja with extraordinary precision and graceful balletic flair, and traveling at the speed of light he appears on the sink and immediately employs his delicate safe-cracking techniques in an effort to open the cabinet door. The foolish and careless human who dares to improperly fasten the door will quickly note that the quivering goats get abducted at record speed and without incident.

The quivering goats

The Tom Ford Bronzer Brush, in its infinite fluffiness, proves too tempting to forgo. Zeus is rendered defenseless against the charms of this luxurious brush and easily succumbs to his temptation.

I'll get you, my pretty...

Tom Ford just gets me. I know that he had me in mind when he created this brush. Maybe I should live with him instead because I am pretty sure that he would be far more generous with these beauties. I wonder if he has a whole wing of his house filled with them. I bet he does!

It really has the most beautiful and rich bouquet. I'm just intoxicated by this hypnotic scent, and would give my right dewclaw to have one of these that was my size so that we could spoon. I'm getting lightheaded just thinking about it.

 I really must get closer. 

 Fore(paw)play

Ah yes, I love that Hakuhodo Mizubake brush on that high shelf-- it fits in my mouth so perfectly. I feel so triumphant when I run through the house gripping it in my teeth so lovingly. This is infinitely better than killing a bird-- such a messy and uncivilized proposition. I must take it from that woman once and for all because I need it far more than she does!

If  only I had opposable thumbs I could get in here all of the time without having to wait for the humans to open the door to the treasure vault. It is a cruel joke, really. I need another strategy to gain access. Every single time that I gaze into her eyes lovingly she melts, and my mismatched eyes are so novel that she gets endless pleasure staring at, and fawning over, me. It is in one of these moments of her vulnerability that I should strike-- now I just need to lure her into the bathroom so that we can share one of those tender moments, and when she turns around I will claim what is rightfully mine! I will have to work out all of the details, but if I appeal to her emotions then she doesn't stand a chance.

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